It has been over six months since I last fell for a woman, like REALLY fell for her.
I can’t seem to be able to find myself getting highly attracted to any woman at all these days.
This is shitty because once upon a time I felt I could fall in love with anyone. Now, basically no one.
I was most in love when I was total loser. One I just ‘saw’ in school. Another one was the only woman I talked to for a long time and deeply (some hours).
Since then I was never in love I guess. Well.
Got a little taste of a girl thinking ‘I could fall in love with this one’ but I had no chance with her it seems. She was looking great and had cool character. Guess it would be nice to be ‘in love’ again sometime.
But I think it’s easier to fall in love when you have no sex and hardly any options – that’s where I was in love mostly. Or am I confusing love with desperation.
I guess you can see these as two opposite polarities. Or name them two different archetypes of yourself, and try to make connections and go somewhere from there. Though it might just be random emotions and thoughts.
I guess I can probably still fall in love, but it’s not so extreme anymore. The thing that always made me fall in love were fantasies. I would meet a girl and immediately would start thinking about all the romantic stuff we would do together (we never did of course). That would get my hormones flowing. It’s called falling in love with love, not with the girl herself.
So, if you want to fall in love again, maybe you should develop an image of what kind of relationship(s) you want. Then, when you meet a girl, you can start to think about whether she fits in that image. When she does, you might want to develop your relationship with her in that direction.
Reverse engineering love, we’re nerds
I read somewhere that you make yourself fall in love yourself – after you meet the person by thinking about her in a specific way. I also read that being in love is neurologically about the same as being crazy/being obsessed like some disorder. Being obsessed with a person.
More random thoughts..
My early-in-life being in love things were with the thoughts like ‘if I had her, this would be the greatest greatest greatest thing ever, I would be soo unimaginably happy and would have no problems at all’. Then I had a depression phase just realizing that being with a girl isn’t ‘wow I am in heaven and everything is good now!’.
Now I didn’t fall in love for such a long time cause I meet girls through approaching – and I am a bit scared kinda to approach girls that I personally find very appealing (not even necessarily hot, just appealing to me personally) . Perhaps there will be some falling in love once I do that.
Still the belief that there are girls that bring me salvation seems to be destroyed forever right now.
I think it would be really difficult for someone to talk out of relevant experience unless they have had a rather similar situation. Could you say that it is strictly women that have you dissatisfied, or is it an overall dissatisfaction, a kind of aloofness, that you carry which you notice manifesting under this guise, but could be something deeper?
Anyways until you find some solace for your heart, here are some inspirational quotes about love and about life in general to keep you warm